Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
