i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
