he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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