week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
