You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize