and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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