we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
