on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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