I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Brb crying the tears of my youth
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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