I want to make a zoo with you.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
