every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
