I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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