The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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