I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
