You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
