i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
