I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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