I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
