Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
