you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
