You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
