you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
high people should be assigned attendants
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
