I could make wine with my vomit
she looked like the before picture.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
