I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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