Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize