FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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