Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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