I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
