and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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