Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize