To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
