every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
