you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
