That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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