hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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