so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
