So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
