Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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