You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
