so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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