Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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