Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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