does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
