Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
