please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
