just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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