so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
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EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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