Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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