Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
