Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
