I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
