I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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