that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize