So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
