The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
i think i just lost a toe
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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