i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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