Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
