now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
