I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
