There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
