I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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