Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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