I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I am mentally ready for anal.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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