i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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