you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
